Table of Contents
 

I.   Introduction

II.  Fitting In Family News

 A. Weekly Family Sections

 B. Combining Family With Other Themes

 C. Family Coverage in Women's Sections

III.  Topics and Story Ideas

 A. Work and Family

 B. Child Care

 C. Marriage, Divorce and Stepfamilies
 
 D. The Adolescent Years

 E. Education

 E. Discipline
 
 F. Five Easy Pieces

IV.  Professional Sources
 
 
 

Introduction
 

Strong families and positive parenting are crucial to our success as a society, and newspapers can play a relevant role in these areas. Daily papers, in fact, are an ideal venue for this coverage: Busy families want practical information they can find quickly and news about local activities and events.

Many newspapers around the country are responding to this need by offering family pages filled with interesting feature stories, advice columns, calendars of local events and more. These sections are helpful in two ways: They show how real-life people handle the myriad facets of family life, and they include tip boxes and further resources for readers.

This report, produced under the auspices of a Knight Foundation Copy Editing Fellowship, offers newspaper journalists ideas for expanding family coverage. It shares ways that some newspapers fit these stories into limited space; suggests story ideas on family topics; and offers the names and numbers of professional sources willing to share information on those subjects.

This is not meant as a comprehensive document; there are scores of other newspapers that serve families well, just as there are many story ideas and professional sources not covered here. Instead, this will hopefully serve as a tool writers and editors can use to increase their coverage of these issues.

The focus of this report is parenting and family relationships, rather than public policy and social services issues. For journalists interested in the latter, several organizations - including the Casey Journalism Center for Children and Families - do an outstanding job of providing information.
 
 

Fitting in Family News
 

Family stories can and should be blended into a newspaper's daily coverage, but are also valuable when featured in a discrete location each week. That way families know where to look for information that pertains to them - advice, activities, sources to turn to for help.

Newspapers have come up with diverse ways of consistently presenting this coverage. Some offer an entire section; others find alternative methods to fit in family news. Many are currently considering expanded coverage to meet reader demand. This is a look at how a few papers around the country handle family matters.

Weekly family sections. Many newspapers devote a section once a week to family issues, with different lifestyle themes such as health filling the section on other days. In the family sections, the locally written cover story often centers on parenting and relationships, but some papers prefer to emphasize events and activities for the family.

The Wichita Eagle devotes its Thursday Living section to parenting issues. The centerpiece stories cover a range of topics such as work-at-home parents and children's Internet use. The section includes a syndicated advice column; briefs for parents; two children's pages; and various other stories and columns for families.

Jennifer Comes Roy, the staff writer responsible for parenting stories, says the section used to focus primarily on failing families, covering issues such as child abuse and the juvenile court system. It now tries to address the majority of families, she says - ones that are basically functional but can use reinforcement in their daily lives. The section is now mostly aimed at parents, but issues such as multigenerational families are being considered.

The Miami Herald runs a Living & Learning section on Fridays. It includes a main feature story of family interest such as a look at day care centers that install video cameras for parental viewing.

Also included are other features on education, parenting and families; a local column that helps parents get practical answers to school-related questions; an informational column on family matters; two syndicated advice columns; a first-person column on fathering issues; a parental guide to the movies; a family TV guide for the week; and a family health page.

The Herald's features editor Elissa Vanaver feels a family section should deal with substantive national issues, and interpret those issues for readers on a local level. She also says that at some point a family coping story can become an agenda-setting story, and that a section's corollary mission is to raise the profile of family issues throughout the paper.

The Times Picayune's Living section runs a Parents and Children theme on Mondays. It includes a central story and a children's activities calendar on the cover. The main story includes topics such as giving children credit cards; parenting sons; parenting daughters; surveying corporate child care centers; and learning infant massage.

An inside family page includes school news; mini reviews of parenting books; a syndicated advice column; a roundup of classes and activities for children; and another roundup for parents. The most popular item each year is a day camp calendar, according to Living section editor Bettye Anding.

Anding says the Monday section alternates light topics, such as enjoying Mardi Gras with a toddler, and more serious issues, such as the need for positive male parenting.
 
The Plain Dealer runs a Family section as its Saturday living theme. The main story deals with issues ranging from innovative community foster care to the myths about single fathers. The section also includes a family finance column; a column of commentary on family life; a syndicated column by a local child psychologist; a calendar of family classes and activities; a roundup of fun events; and another roundup of TV and movie offerings.

Living editor Betsy O'Connell tries to present a mix of social issues and parenting information. She also feels the section should appeal to a greater audience than just the parents of young children because family issues impact everyone.

The Seattle Times runs a Families section on Saturdays.  It concentrates on events and activities for families, from biking to playing in the snow.
Its front page features a centerpiece on how and where to enjoy an activity; a  column written by parents on memorable moments with their children; and a roundup of top upcoming events. Assistant features editor Sarah Williams says surveys showed readers wanted information on family activities, so that became the emphasis of the section.

On the section back is a page for children, which features an article on a particular child, puzzles, recipes and more. The middle of the section has television and other listings; a column that  features a child or children currently up for adoption; a syndicated parenting column;
and more listings of family events and activities.

Combining Family With Other Themes. Many papers don't include a discrete family section, but use other ways to provide family coverage. Some include parenting pages inside the lifestyle section on the same day each week; others combine family with another theme such as home or religion.

The Boston Globe runs two family columns in its At Home section on Thursdays. A local Child Caring column offers information on topics such as divorced parents and their children, and the problems faced by new mothers. Accompanying tip boxes provide practical ideas. A free-lancer writes a first-person parenting column.

Mary Jane Wilkinson, deputy managing editor for features, says the parenting columns appear in the home section because of the connection of home and family, and also because the living section has so many standing columns.
At Home provides space to display the two columns well, and readers know where to find them each week.

The Child Caring column covers a wide spectrum of critical issues facing families, and Wilkinson says the in-depth approach is what readers indicate they want. She says the goal is to reflect readers' family concerns, keeping in mind that there is a very broad definition of family today.

On Saturdays, the Globe runs a Family Datebook column that begins on the Living/Arts cover and continues inside. It highlights leading events of the week for children, teens and families.

The Sacramento Bee includes family stories in its Scene section on Saturdays. The section's theme is Family/Religion & Ethics. The centerpiece package alternates between stories dealing with religion and ethics and family-oriented stories, such as a piece on activities for rainy days.

A locally written family briefs column appears on the top of the second page, and the back page is devoted to family matters. These include a profile on a local family, a column of events for kids, a parenting column and a health column.

Terry Dvorak, former editor of the section, says that since parents and children are at home on weekends, Saturday was the logical day for a family section. Family topics were added to an existing Religion page, and Dvorak says the section is very well received.

Family Coverage in Women's Sections. Some newspapers include family coverage in their women's sections.

The Chicago Tribune has a Sunday WomaNews section, which often includes family-oriented cover features. Topics range from family preservation issues to the question of what constitutes intelligence. A local column covers family issues and a News in Brief column offers a section for families.

Lifestyles editor Denise Joyce says WomaNews takes on family issues that news side also covers, but it personalizes them, reinvents them with a broader reach, and puts them in context for readers. For the section's future, Joyce foresees less emphasis on subjects such as fashion and more on relationships and families.

The Lexington Herald-Leader also puts much of its family coverage in its women's section, You, which runs on Thursdays. The cover story of this tabloid section is often about family issues such as children's activity overload, and once a month the focus is on teaching a value such as respect for diversity. Other parenting topics have ranged from discipline to bed-wetting to raising a responsible child.

Barbara Ward, who reports on family issues, says the section is very popular with readers. Plans for the future include steering away from the emphasis on women and improving coverage of relationships and family.
 

Subjects for Family Coverage
 

Here are some of today's pertinent family topics, gleaned from contacts with academics, journalists and other professionals in the field. An introduction to each topic is given, followed by some specific story ideas. Each section includes professional sources, all of whom are happy to talk with journalists. Sources and their telephone numbers are listed alphabetically in the last chapter of this report.
 

WORK AND FAMILY
 

Introduction. Although there are many who would like to see women step out of the workplace and back into the house, family historian Stephanie Coontz predicts co-provider families will continue, in which both parents work outside the home.

She says the co-provider trend derives from different but interacting forces. These include erosion of wages and less government investment in jobs since the 1950s, making two incomes an economic necessity. Plus, many women work because it's satisfying, according to Coontz - and it's a route to self-protection and independence.

Catalyst, a nonprofit research organization in New York, reports that employers must address the concerns of dual-income couples for a variety of reasons. Their sheer number is growing, and they are reaching higher levels within the work force. They are often valued employees, and are willing to leave a company if their needs aren't being met. Finally, these couples are leading a trend, according to Catalyst, and companies that help them achieve a work-life balance will be able to meet the needs of all their employees more effectively. (Catalyst contact: Monica Blaizgis, senior associate in the public relations department.)
 

Integration, not juggling. The new concept in the work-family world is integrating work and home, not building barriers between them. The Wall Street Journal reports that technology and flexibility make integration possible, and the result is more productive, loyal employees. Some experts say this is one of the most important trends of the next 10 years.

In practical terms, an example of integration might be an employee taking time from work for personal or family concerns, and then doing work at home via e-mail and telephone.

This is a holistic concept in which employees can integrate the parts of their lives in a way that feels good, according to Arlene Johnson, senior consultant  at WFD, a consulting and service firm on issues of work and life.

Johnson calls it a health model rather than a management concept and says that from a company's perspective, the idea is to make people feel better so they can perform better. It can both help maintain a work-family balance and improve family and community life.

(Other sources on work-family integration are Robin Hardman, director of communications, Families and Work Institute, and Judsen Culbreth, editor in chief of Working Mother magazine.)
 

Working fathers. The Los Angeles Times reports that juggling work and home duties is as stressful for men as for women, but that working moms have received most of the attention. The lopsided media coverage makes it hard for society to appreciate working fathers' conflicts.

Rosalind C. Barnett, professor and author of "She Works, He Works," says that problems stem from society's widely held gender assumptions. One such notion is that work is crucial for men's identity and that what happens to men in the workplace is more salient than what goes on in the family. Another assumption is that men are better than women at compartmentalizing their work and family lives.

A third major gender assumption is that men and women are profoundly different because of biological factors and early socialization. Barnett says that all three assumptions are false; for example, most of the gender differences are due to the fact that men and women occupy different social roles, and when they do occupy similar roles, the differences diminish remarkably. The Wall Street Journal reports on two recent studies by Families and Work Institute and Catalyst that reinforce Barnett's argument.

According to Barnett, these gender assumptions are so much a part of our cultural fabric that they have an enormous impact on corporate expectations, as well as other kinds of decision making and life choices.

A large part of the problem is that men don't speak up at work about their work-family conflicts, according to James A. Levine, director of The Fatherhood Project at Families and Work Institute in New York.

Levine says the issue is just hitting the radar screen in corporate America. Some companies are making sure fathers know that flexible schedules and other offerings are meant for them as well as mothers, and other employers are beginning to present specific programs and seminars for dads.

The Times reports that Chase Manhattan Bank, Marriott and Los Angeles Department of Water and Power are some of the Los Angeles businesses with such programs.
 

Just How Friendly Are Family Friendly Policies? Many employees don't take advantage of their companies' flexible work arrangements because they fear harm to their careers.

Donna Klein, director of work/life programs at Marriott International, says that even though an employer's corporate philosophy and guidelines may support these work policies, at the bottom line decisions are made at the unit manager level. Klein says progress is being made to educate managers in this area, but it will take time.

Some employers, like the big accounting firm Ernst & Young, are remedying this situation because they want to retain employees. The Boston Globe reports that Ernst & Young created a special office to work on the problem, and arranged a database that allowed employees to find out about others in the company who enjoy flexible work arrangements. The firm is also making an effort to promote good workers, whether or not they choose alternative work schedules.
 

A Closer Look at Part-time Work. Job opportunities exist for parents who want to work part time, but it may take some creativity to find the right situation. The San Francisco Chronicle suggests that full-time employees first approach their present boss and propose a part-time situation.

Employees have to convince their companies that it makes sense to restructure their jobs, according to Barney Olmsted, co-director of New Ways to Work, a San Francisco nonprofit that promotes flexible work arrangements. But she says there may be a good chance of success because employers want to keep talented workers, particularly ones who have received specialized training.

Author Charlene Giannetti recommends people maximize their expertise in a certain area so their employer can't afford to lose them. But she warns workers who go part time to make sure they have a clear understanding with their managers; otherwise they may inadvertently cut back on their salary without cutting back on their work time.

If it's not possible to persuade an employer, other options are becoming an independent contractor, looking for work with a partner as a job-sharing team and networking to find out about part-time positions.

But the availability of meaningful part-time work is still an issue, according to Arlene Johnson, senior consultant at WFD, a consulting and service firm on issues of work and life. Johnson says parents and others who want to work part-time often have to take less professional, lower paying jobs.
 

Mothers who choose to stay home. The Los Angeles Times reports that many women are proud of opting to stay home rather than going out to work, because they can be there for their children and they can afford to do it.

Several of the mothers who stay home do some work, although their hours are shorter and pay is less than when they worked outside the home. Many of them take the drive they developed in the work force and apply it to volunteer activities; also, many expect to eventually return to full-time work.

Some mothers choose to stay at home as a backlash against the problems of unsupervised children; others do it because they find corporate America isn't really committed to offering family benefits such as flex-time and day care.

Some labor economists say the increase in stay-at-home moms is the beginning of a long-term trend, but others feel it's just a small movement among the affluent. And many researchers like Rosalind C. Barnett maintain that the trend, in fact, is in the other direction: toward women staying in the work force for psychological as well as financial reasons. The Census Bureau wants to know what the figures are, so it has commissioned a poll of the subject, to begin in spring 1998.
 

CHILD CARE
 

Introduction. In January 1998, President Clinton put the national spotlight on child care when he proposed a $21.7 billion initiative to improve existing programs and create new ones. The initiative substantially increases child care subsidies and tax credits for working families.

The same week Treasury Secretary Robert Rubin named a panel of business and labor leaders to identify companies that run exemplary child care programs. States are following suit; in California, Governor Pete Wilson proposed a $665 million increase in state and federal money for child care.

The issue affects a huge number of families, according to the Wall Street Journal: 35 million have children under the age of 18, including 15 million with children under 6. Single parents head 9 million families with children under 18; and in 40 percent of two-parent families, husbands and wives work outside the home.

The Child Care Action Campaign in New York offers many resources on child care. Each year it puts out a child care and early childhood education press kit containing fact sheets, papers on important aspects of child care, and a bibliography. (Child Care Action Campaign contact: Ellen Lubell, communications director.)
 

When parents don't work 9 to 5. Parents who must work nontraditional hours (for example, weekends) have a hard time finding adequate child care. They often have to put together a patchwork of resources to cover their needs.

Many low-income parents are in this situation, and many more are expected to be as welfare reform takes effect, reports Denise Fogarty, program director at Child Care Aware in Rochester, MN.

According to the Christian Science Monitor, parents and child care experts feel that extending care beyond the traditional work day needs to be a national priority.

Robin Hardman of the Families and Work Institute in New York says there are very few - perhaps a dozen - 24-hour child care centers nationwide. But an increasing number of businesses and industries, including hospitals, hotels and some insurance companies, are joining together to provide this care.

Donna Klein, director of work/life programs at Marriott International, is at the forefront of the movement. Marriott has a center in Atlanta for the children of parents who work nontraditional hours, and is working on another one in Washington, D.C.
 

Which kind of care suits your family? Working parents must decide whether in-home care, family day care or a child care center best meets their needs.
Each kind of care situation has pros and cons, according to "Finding the Best Care for Your Infant or Toddler," a joint publication of the National Association for the Education of Young Children (NAEYC) and ZERO TO THREE/The National Center for Clinical Infant Programs. (ZERO TO THREE contacts: Lynette Ciervo and Tom Salyers.)

In-home care is beneficial for infants because they are familiar with their surroundings, and they can stay on their usual eating and sleeping schedule. It's also easy to care for children when they're sick. But this care is often quite expensive, and parents need to find alternatives if the caregiver can't work. Also, as children grow older, they may need a more stimulating environment and the interaction of other children.

Family day care in a provider's home is the most common form for infants and toddlers. The small group size of this situation may mean a child will have less exposure to illness, and should also translate to a relaxing, unregimented environment. A home can be a stimulating place for children to learn about everyday activities, but on the down side, it can be boring if the provider has the television on all day.

A child care center can provide a rich environment for young children, with varied materials and activities, and a lot of social interaction. But parents should make sure the program provides enough caregiver attention, and that the schedule and setting meet their child's needs.
 

Finding quality care. Parents often pick a child care provider for convenience or affordability, but experts stress that quality of care is also crucial. Whether care is in the child's home, a caregiver's home or a day care center, parents should look for certain quality standards.

Some essentials are described in "Finding the Best Care for Your Infant or Toddler," a joint publication of NAEYC and ZERO TO THREE. These include a caregiver who is loving and responsive, and introduces new ideas and learning experiences; who understands and respects children's individuality; and who provides a safe, sanitary and stimulating environment.

Parents should shop around to find quality care, according to Thelma Harms, director of curriculum development at the Frank Porter Graham Child Development Center and research professor in the School of Education at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill. They should visit multiple sites, stay for an hour or more just observing, and ask plenty of questions. Harms is the author of "Finding Good Child Care," a checklist parents can bring when they visit care facilities.

Parents and Parenting magazines and the Orange County Register also offer suggestions specific to in-home care, family day care or child care centers.

For a nanny or other caregiver in the child's own home, parents should get help with background checks from agencies, and then ask their own questions. The questions should require more than yes or no answers; for example, it's a good idea to ask candidates how they would handle a certain problem if it arose. Experts also recommend checking with at least three references.

For family day care, NAEYC recommends a ratio of no more than six children per adult, and no more than three children under 3 years old. The caregiver should be trained in first aid and child development, and should offer appropriate materials for children. Parents should ask about safety procedures, discipline and backup care. They should check references and ask if they can visit the home unannounced.

Licensing for family day care varies by state. Child Care Aware can provide the telephone number of an agency in a family's neighborhood that will offer local referrals and information on licensing. The National Association for Family Child Care accredits providers who meet its criteria and will send a list of those providers to interested parents.

For a day care center, NAEYC recommends one caregiver for three or four infants, four to six 2-year-olds, seven to ten 3- to 5-year-olds, and ten to twelve 6-year-olds and older. Parents should inquire about a center's license and accreditation, which are two separate elements. Licensing requirements vary from state to state, and primarily focus on health and safety. NAEYC accreditation covers a broader range of issues, including caregiver training and curriculum.

Parents should also ask about the caregiver turnover rate because young children need continuity. They should make sure the center provides enough space inside and out. It's important to ask about the caregivers' training, and to observe how they interact with children. Parents should also make sure they're allowed to drop in unannounced.
 

When relatives are caregivers. Many working parents choose relatives as caregivers, either by choice or necessity, according to Ruth Anne Foote, special projects director of the National Association of Child Care Resource and Referral Agencies in Atlanta.

Often when the child is a baby, parents prefer relatives because there is an established level of trust. In these cases, Foote says, relative care is used for a fairly short term - the parents often move on to other care when the child starts to become active or needs more interaction with peers.

In other cases, parents select relative care because they have no other choice. They may work nontraditional hours, lack the money for outside care or have logistical problems such as inadequate transportation.

Foote says some critics view relative care as unlicensed and unregistered caregiving, but others see it as affirming parents' judgment and affirming the strength of family relationships. Even after the child has gone on to other care, the relationship between child and relative continues intact.

According to Parents magazine, it's best for parents to treat relatives as child care professionals. They should write down a daily schedule and discuss discipline; offer some compensation, even if it's less than they would pay an outside provider; pay for child development and first aid training; and help child-proof the relative's home if the care takes place there.

The National Association of Child Care Resource and Referral Agencies publishes "All in the Family," a free brochure to help parents and relative caregivers spell out practical issues that may otherwise lead to misunderstandings.
 

MARRIAGE, DIVORCE  AND STEPFAMILIES
 

Introduction. Divorce and its effect on children continue to stir heated debate in family circles. Many claim it should be harder for parents to end a marriage because divorce causes such emotional distress in children. Others say that ongoing parental conflict is more harmful than divorce.

Some researchers concentrate on the pathological side of divorce, and their studies often gain the most media attention, according to Kathleen Camara, professor of child development at Tufts University. Other researchers prefer to look at families whose adaptations lead to successful adjustments. Camara says the children of many of these families do better than some children whose parents stay together.

Family historian Stephanie Coontz says the discussion about divorce is often reduced to dueling sound bites. She urges journalists to critically analyze the data to determine cause and effect. In some situations, for example, troubles exist years before a divorce; in others, problems continue, but divorce doesn't cause them; in still others, problems are indeed initiated by divorce.
 

Limiting the damage of divorce. The Boston Globe reports that when conflicts aren't handled well, children tend to internalize them and blame themselves for their parents' divorce. On the other hand, if parents are able to work out their differences cooperatively, children will learn positive conflict resolution, according to researcher Kathleen Camara.

Camara says parents can take specific steps to protect children from distress. They should try to contain their disagreements to times when the children aren't present; refrain from demeaning each other in front of the children; when possible, let a child discuss the absent parent; and adhere to specific guidelines regarding routines and expectations (especially important in high-conflict situations).

It's crucial for parents to keep communication channels open with their children, says Joan Zuckerberg, psychotherapist and co-author of "Difficult Questions Kids Ask (and Are Too Afraid to Ask) About Divorce." However, Zuckerberg says anxious parents can go overboard with sharing too much detail about the divorce; they should make themselves available but wait until the child is ready to talk.

Parenting magazine reports some things parents can do to ease the fears that children develop during a divorce. If a child feels deserted by a parent, for example, that parent's photo and phone number should be displayed in plain view so the child is assured there's still a relationship. Also, many children need extra reassurance in other areas, such as knowing the house is safe from intruders.

When a divorce is handled well, according to Camara, children do better socially with their peers, exhibit less aggression, have more success in school and generally show fewer symptoms associated with major life changes.
 

Boom in strengthening marriage.  Newsday reports that marriage "has practically become chic." Divorce is falling into greater disfavor - whether due to today's emphasis on family values or the well-publicized studies of the harm divorce causes children.

Store shelves overflow with books on strengthening marriages. Groups such as the Coalition for Marriage, Family and Couples Education support the marriage trend, and recommend education for couples as a way to strengthen relationships.

This type of education is designed to improve communication and conflict management skills. Couples who stay happy have just as many disagreements as unhappy couples, but skills can help them handle those disagreements, according to Diane Sollee, educator and founder of the coalition.

Marriage programs include Howard Markman, Scott Stanley and Susan Blumberg's PREP (Prevention and Relationship Enhancement Program) out of the University of Denver; Leslie and Les Parrott's Marriage Mentors out of Seattle Pacific University's Center for Relationship Development; David Olson's PREPARE, out of the University of Minnesota; and John Gottman's Marriage Survival Kit, out of the University of Washington at Seattle. The phone numbers for these programs are listed at www.smartmarriages.com.

Other efforts at improving marriages include community policies, in which religious institutions in a community agree to require couples training before church marriages are performed. Some even feel that government should mandate counseling before marriage - in Michigan, that requirement has been adopted by the Lenawee County court system. Critics maintain that such a mandate would be difficult to implement and that it represents government intrusion into personal lives.

(Another source on strengthening marriages is Theodora Ooms, executive director of the National Resource Center on Marriage and Family Policy - Family Impact Seminar in Washington, D.C.)
 

Rethinking no-fault divorce. Some social commentators blame the high rate of marriage dissolution on the liberalization of divorce laws that occurred in the '70s and '80s.

A campaign to rewrite or repeal no-fault divorces has ensued, and in June 1997 Louisiana became the first state to permit couples to choose between a standard marriage and a covenant one, which is harder to terminate.

Critics of the Louisiana legislation say it reintroduces the concept of fault, which makes divorces more acrimonious and is harder on children. Others worry that legal measures may backfire and keep some marriages together that are destructive for adults and children.

Also, many experts see broad causes for failed marriages such as the influence of economic policies on family composition. They urge expanding family policies to take help make marriages more successful, rather than making marriages harder to dissolve.

(A source on no-fault divorce is Ira Lurvey, Los Angeles lawyer and past chairman of the American Bar Association's family law section.)
 

Who watches out for children in divorce cases? The Chicago Tribune discusses court-appointed lawyers assigned to look after the interests of children in divorce cases. Some question whether these guardians are necessary; others ask if they adequately represent children's interests. Lawyers, judges and children's advocates are reviewing court policies and state laws that protect children of divorce.

A major problem in this area is that representing a child presents an unlawyerlike task, according to attorney Ira Lurvey. Since children often aren't able to formulate what their best interests are, lawyers must become "parents" and substitute their judgment for that of the children.

Lurvey says another problem is that an undertrained and underrespected bar services family law.

(Another source on children's and divorce is Robert Emery, professor of psychology and director of the Center for Children, Families and the Law at the University of Virginia.)
 

Successful Stepfamilies. The divorce rate among stepfamilies is higher than among other families, reflecting how difficult it can be to combine two sets of parents and children.

Forming a new family presents different challenges for each member, according to Ericka Lutz, author of "The Complete Idiot's Guide to Stepparenting." Children may experience jealousy and question whether they belong; adults need to define their roles in terms of disciplining and caring for their new children.

Lutz says an important first step is to know family members don't have to love each other, as long as they show mutual respect. It's also essential to treat all the children in the new family equally.  On the other hand, biological parents should be careful to maintain their bonds with their children and keep continuity in terms of activities.

Stepfamilies experience particular stress around the holidays, Lutz says. To defuse the situation, she recommends identifying what's important to each person, incorporating that when possible, and developing whole new traditions.

Organizations such as the Stepfamily Association of America and the Coalition for Marriage, Family and Couples Education offer help to stepfamilies facing these big challenges. Courses, publications and support groups are available, and the Stepfamily Association certifies therapists who are trained in counseling combined families. (Stepfamily Association of America contact: Margorie Engel, president. Coalition for Marriage, Family and Couples Education contact: Diane Sollee, founder.)
 

THE ADOLESCENT YEARS
 

Introduction. Parents often assume they have lost control of their adolescent children. Educator and author Michael Riera says that indeed they no longer have as much control, but they can still exercise considerable influence. In fact, their influence on adolescent behavior can be just as strong as on young children's behavior.

To establish their influence, parents need to make their values known, even while indicating some empathy for a teenager's feelings, according to Robert McCall, director of the University of Pittsburgh Office of Child Development. He suggests saying, for example, "I understand everybody's smoking, but our family doesn't smoke."

McCall says parents must realize that they won't be present when their teenagers have to make important choices, so they should help them develop analytical skills to use when they're on their own.
 

Communicating With Your Adolescent Child. Studies show that adolescents who feel connected to their parents are less likely to use drugs or alcohol, smoke, attempt suicide, engage in violence or have sex at an early age. Family writer Margaret Sagarese says that connecting with adolescents means maintaining open communication with them - simply supervising them is not enough.

The National Middle School Association offers a free brochure called "A Parent's Guide - Tuning In to Adolescents," which includes tips on handling separation, encouraging exploration, improving communication and establishing expectations. Some of the communication tips: Use news and neighborhood events to start conversations on hard-to-express ideas; avoid negative comments that can end a discussion before it starts; find creative ways to carry on a conversation - for example, ask specific questions about school events rather than "How was school?" (National Middle School Association contact: Sue Swaim, executive director.)

Parents can't prevent the sullenness and supersensitivity that come along with adolescence, but they can help manage it, according to The Boston Globe.
It's best not to overreact to adolescents' moods, nor to abdicate responsibility when they are testing their limits. Parents should be flexible when possible but consistent on basic values.

Parents shouldn't take their children's attitudes personally - their behavior is usually normal. They should be alert, though, for continuous withdrawn behavior, which could be a sign of depression that requires professional treatment.

(Another source on communicating with adolescents is Victoria Stanhope, director of professional information and communication at the National Association of School Psychologists.)
 

All about sex. Experts say that adolescents need to informed about sex and weigh the consequences - before they're pressured to make a sexual decision.

Educator Robert McCall says parents need "to get there ahead of time" by having a relationship that lets them talk about such issues with their children. (But parents should make sure they know the facts first - McCall says many adults are misinformed about sex.)

He suggests role playing with adolescents, asking, for example, "What do you say or do when someone is being aggressive?" or "What do you do when you want to have sex as well?"

McCall says many parents are afraid that discussing sex or allowing birth control devices will give teenagers license to have sexual relations. But he tells parents to examine what they really concerns them: Is it that their child may have sex, or that sex will result in pregnancy or disease?

Author Margaret Sagarese recommends talking about different levels of intimacy leading up to sex. She says parents should explain that there are expressions of intimacy appropriate at various stages. Adolescents also need to explore questions like what makes someone attractive, how far should they go to be popular, and so on.
 

Day care for young adolescents. Although young adolescents (ages 10-14) clamor for more independence, experts say they're not ready to be on their own after school every day. Latchkey children are more likely to be truant from school, get poor grades, use drugs and engage in other risk-taking behaviors, according to the National Institute on Out-of-School Time at the Center for Research on Women at Wellesley College. (Institute contact: Stephanie Peck, publications coordinator.)

Even if a young adolescent can take care of himself, a home with no supervision is often an invitation for other children to come over and start trouble, says Charlene C. Giannetti, co-author of "The Roller-Coaster Years."
There are alternatives such as sports programs and activities in the schools, but these should be enjoyable and not just something to keep children busy, Giannetti says.

Linda Sisson, executive director of the National School-Age Care Alliance, says there are too few quality after-school opportunities for 10-to-14-year-olds. She says these young adolescents need something that respects their age - not the same kind of supervision they had as young children. In a well-run program for this age group, the adults provide a role model and a safety net, and establish the parameters of what behavior is acceptable.

A program should focus on teaching life skills in the real community, Sisson says. Community service is valuable - anything from producing a public service announcement for cable access TV to doing volunteer work or helping younger children. Other activities can range from juggling to cooking to using watercolors, but adults can't just put out props - adolescents want to learn from people who can teach them actual skills.
 

Successfully launching teenagers into independent adulthood. In her book "The Way We Really Are," author Stephanie Coontz writes that the main problem teenagers face is "rolelessness." In the past boys especially worked at jobs that helped initiate them gradually into adult society, while today's teenagers have very little involvement in useful or socially helpful work. Instead they stay in school longer and often chafe at what they see as a holding period until they mature.

Parents, for their part, fear their teenagers' access to dangerous forms of consumption, and Coontz writes that they react by abdicating responsibility or trying to overly control their children.

Coontz says parents need to stop thinking of their teenagers in negative terms and instead take steps to engage them. For example, parents can encourage their adolescent children to do meaningful volunteer work, which will increase their sense of responsibility and create their own area of expertise.

Author Charlene Giannetti suggests that the process of launching teenagers into independence starts when children are young adolescents. This can be a painful time because children are pulling away and parents don't want them to, she says. But parents should realize they must give up some control or their children will not learn how to exercise control themselves. If parents do everything for their children, Giannetti questions how teenagers will fare when they get to college and have to get themselves organized, handle money and so on.

Giannetti suggests parents give adolescents as much independence as they're ready for, but stresses that there's no single right way because every child is different. She adds that if parents feel they've given too much independence too soon, they can always reassess and back off.
 
 

EDUCATION
 

Introduction.  Families today face a dual concern: that schools succeed in providing quality education; and that their children succeed in school.

Parents must work to ensure that the educational system prepares children for the 21st century, according to Meg Porter, a charter school administrator in San Luis Obispo, CA. The schools need input from the outside world to help students enter that world, she says; parents can play a key role by serving on school boards and getting involved in other capacities.

Before they become involved, it's important for parents to feel comfortable and informed, says Mark Sargent, director of communications for the George Lucas Educational Foundation. To aid that process, the foundation offers a kit called "Learn and Live," which spells out issues such as school reform, parent participation and technology integration in the classroom. It describes existing programs in which families are successfully involved, and suggests ways for parents to approach schools in a cooperative rather than an adversarial way.

With regard to their own children's success in school, parents often think that sitting them down to do homework is the key element. But Newsweek reports that homework in the elementary years doesn't relate to a child's later academic prowess. In fact, too much homework can be overwhelming to young children and can turn them off to school.

Homework aside, parents can do several things to help their children thrive in the classroom. One important element is modeling educated behavior by thinking and talking through issues, according to Lillian Katz, director of ERIC Clearinghouse on Elementary and Early Childhood Education and professor of Early Childhood Education at the University of Illinois. She says parents should also take time to listen and show a serious interest in their children's school experiences, participate in activities when possible and keep in contact with teachers and advisers.
 

Family involvement and children's success. Studies show that family involvement is an important predictor of children's success in school. Involvement means different things to different people, says Linda Wheeler, director of Wisconsin-based Families and Schools Together. But basically it involves parents and the school in a partnership, communicating to help children succeed.

In programs such as Wheeler's where parents collaborate with school staff and other professionals, children often display a substantial reduction in aggression, attention problems and other negative behaviors.

Parents who volunteer in the classroom find the activity keeps them in close contact with their children and also emphasizes the importance of education. Working parents may not be able to come to the classroom on a regular basis, but if they talk to the teacher at beginning of the year, they can ask for enough advance notice to join in some of the activities, says Marian Edelman Borden, author of "Mom's Guide to Raising a Good Student." And they can contribute in alternative ways: They can be part of a telephone chain, for example, or write a class newsletter.

Some parents who get involved at school find benefits in addition to improving their children's academic achievement and self-image. Volunteering can lay the groundwork for relationships with other families, and help develop a support group for parents who need help with carpooling and other tasks.
 

Keeping your adolescent interested in school. Open communication is the best way parents can help their adolescent children succeed in school, says Linda Wheeler of Families and Schools Together.

It's natural for adolescents to establish their independence by pulling away from their parents, but Wheeler urges families to stay in touch. One way is to set aside 15 minutes a day for talking together. Parents and children shouldn't give advice or make decisions during this time, Wheeler advises - they should simply listen to each other's opinions.

She says that paying this attention to children carries over to classroom issues. Adolescents who regularly talk to their parents are more likely to share the problems and situations they encounter at school. On the other hand, if communication is lacking, children are likely to shut their parents out when concerns arise. Wheeler encourage parents to monitor homework and attend conferences, but she says parent-child communication is the most important factor in school success.

Role modeling is also crucial for keeping teens interested in education, according to Kate Kelly, author of "The Complete Idiot's Guide to Parenting a Teenager." Parents should set an example by reading the newspaper, discussing current affairs and attending cultural events.

On the homework front, Kelly says that parents should teach teenagers to be independent and shouldn't do the work for them. But they can prod from the sidelines, when necessary; for example, they can help with time management skills or offer to read a book alongside their child to discuss difficult issues.
 

Learning about preschools. Parents all too often pick a preschool because it's close to home, affordable or recommended by a friend. But early childhood programs reflect varied philosophies, and by asking the right questions parents can find out if a school's values reflect their own.

Here are some common types of preschools and their accompanying philosophies, as described in Parents magazine: whole child (developmental approach to learning combined with plentiful social interaction); Montessori (emphasis on children making decisions and using carefully designed materials at their own pace); Waldorf (focus on play, fantasy and artistic expression rather than academic work). There are also university or laboratory schools, co-ops and religious preschools that may incorporate elements of these approaches.

Parents should go to a school to observe what actually goes on, says Marian Edelman Borden, author of "Smart Start: The Parents' Complete Guide to Preschool Education." Look for children who are enjoying what they're doing, she says.

Children should be engaged in investigating their environment, according to early childhood educator Lillian Katz. This doesn't necessarily mean going on field trips, she says - simply stepping outdoors can lead to exploration. The opposite of this engaged activity occurs when children do mindless activities such as rote coloring and pasting.

Borden adds that developing the ability to think creatively and problem solve is crucial. Children who can learn independently gain confidence and self-esteem, she says. And parents should be aware that young children learn through play - not through worksheets and academic exercises. For example, many pre-math skills are learned through building with blocks.

Parents reports some additional issues for parents who are choosing a preschool. These include finding out about staff turnover rates; asking about the teacher-child ratio; asking how the staff handles discipline; and looking for a pleasant, spacious indoor room and outdoor play yard (and an indoor active area for rainy days).

Most of all, get a feel for how the adults and children interact, says Borden. Parents' instincts are the greatest guide in picking the right preschool -
they should trust their judgment because they know what their own
children need.
 

Parents and charter schools. For many parents disillusioned with traditional choices, charter schools represent a real alternative within public education, according to charter school administrator Meg Porter.

Charter schools differ greatly from state to state, but generally they are vehicles that allow parents a significant voice in how public schools are started and run, says Eric Premack, director of the Charter School Development Center in Sacramento, CA. There are nearly 800 charter schools nationwide, and President Clinton has said he would like to see 3,000 established.

While parent involvement may mean grading papers in the back of a regular classroom, in charter schools parents participate in major tasks such as hiring staff, setting the school calendar and determining curriculum. Parents often sit on the boards on these schools alongside staff and community members.

Many charter schools have agreements that parents must sign saying they will either volunteer a certain number of hours or take over a capacity such as fund-raising. Teachers likewise agree to welcome parent participation.

In many states families work with school districts to start charter schools. In other states, they can get permission to start one without the blessing of the local school district, while in yet others, only districts have the startup power. Funding legislation varies, too. Some states have clear laws, according to Premack, while in others, charter proponents have to go out hat in hand.

Premack says a number of state studies have found a high level of parental satisfaction at charter schools, significantly greater than that at traditional schools.

(Another source on charter schools is Jane McDonough, president of CANEC, a California charter school network, and director of the Sonoma Charter School in Sonoma, CA. Web sites such as www.uscharterschools.org also contain information on charter schools.)
 

DISCIPLINE
 

Introduction. Anne Marie and Gary Ezzo, authors of "On Becoming Babywise" and "On Becoming Babywise II," are attracting attention and criticism with their advice on spanking children. Acccording to the Wall Street Journal, they recommend swatting babies who are disobedient, and starting actual spanking at 18 months with a flexible instrument that won't injure the child.

Many child development experts feel that spanking can be harmful and that it doesn't accomplish its long-term purpose of changing children's behavior. But when the need for discipline arises - and that's often quite unexpectedly - some parents don't have alternatives to spanking, says Robert McCall, co-director of the University of Pittsburgh Office of Child Development. They feel they need to act right away but don't know what to do.

If parents have an arsenal of alternatives at their disposal that they've thought about beforehand, they're less likely to do things they might regret later, according to McCall. Experts suggest several ways to deal with discipline when children misbehave, and also to create an environment that fosters better behavior generally.
 

Rewarding positive behavior and other preventative measures. Parents are better off taking a proactive approach to discipline, says Ericka Lutz, co-author of "Mom's Guide to Disciplining Your Child." They should tell their children what they're doing right rather than waiting for them to do something wrong, she says. Rewarding, praising and reinforcing are ideally what discipline should be.

Children tend to repeat behaviors that attract attention, according to educator Thelma Harms. By paying attention to positive behavior, parents encourage their children to repeat that behavior and have a constructive experience in the process.

Harms suggests other ways parents can work to prevent negative behaviors. They should be consistent in setting limits so children know what is expected, but the limits must be geared to the children's age. Parents should also observe if there is a pattern to their children's problem behavior; for example, if they act out when they're tired or hungry, solutions may be easy to find.

If children have a safe environment to explore without hearing "no" too often, their negative behaviors will diminish, says Harms. But if problems begin to arise, parents should take steps to defuse things before they get out of hand.
 

Disciplining adolescents. Even though they're clamoring for independence, adolescents need boundaries to bump up against, according to Charlene C. Giannetti, co-author of "The Roller-Coaster Years." But one size doesn't fit all with regard to adolescent discipline, she says. Parents need to discover what works for each child; for example, being sent to their rooms is effective for some children, while others react to having an allowance cut off.

Educator and author Michael Riera urges parents to differentiate among behaviors. A few extremely important issues, like drinking and driving, should be framed as absolutes, while other things, like failing to clean up a bedroom, should carry less serious consequences. If parents react the same way to everything, children will disregard all their advice, Riera says.

But he adds that it's important to impose a logical consequence following a child's acts. If an infraction involves use of a car, the consequence should involve that use. Parents are sometimes tempted not to impose a consequence if children say they're sorry for an infraction, but Riera says that teaches the child that if you're sorry enough you can do the action again. Natural consequences, on the other hand, help teach responsibility.

If adolescents come forward and admit a mistake they've made, parents should carefully consider their response. If they underreact, that sends the wrong message and puts children in danger, Giannetti says; if they overreact and fly off the handle, they can seriously damage their relationship with their child. Giannetti recommends that parents talk about why something is right or wrong, and still offer their unconditional love. It's important to keep communication open and let children know they are always welcome to talk.

Giannetti recommends that parents keep in touch with the parents of other adolescents. That way, when their own children say "Everybody's doing it," they can be aware of what behaviors other families actually allow.
 

Making discipline techniques work. Time-out and other forms of discipline should not be punishment but rather guidance for young children, according to educator Robert McCall. Parents should tell a child what behavior caused a time-out, for example, and explain what appropriate behavior would have been.

And the form of discipline needs to relate to the offending behavior, McCall says. If young children break something, for instance, they should clean it up and then in some way pay back the person who lost the item. Adults shouldn't rely on shame, McCall explains, but they can show their sadness or disappointment.

Educator Thelma Harms reminds parents not to overreact when expressing disapproval of a behavior. She says imposing a time-out or otherwise removing children from a play provides less attention to negative behavior than scolding or other punishment.
 
 

FIVE EASY PIECES
 

Introduction. Many of the stories listed in previous chapters require a good deal of time and resources. Here are five family stories that can easily be reported within local communities.
 

The family that plays together. Studies show that sharing recreation experiences can promote family strengths. The benefits include improving parents' relationships, building bonds between parents and children, and developing problem-solving skills.

This shared recreation benefits older children, who may need a balance for the competitive sports they usually experience. Shared time with parents also is associated with less drug use, better academic performance and less propensity toward early sexual experiences.

Many community resources offer opportunity for shared family recreation, including YMCAs and parks and recreation districts.

"99 Tips for Family Fitness Fun," available from the National Association for Sport and Physical Education, offers practical ideas for successful family activities. Suggestions include taking turns picking a family activity each week; scheduling a regular time for physical activities; helping all family members find something that makes them feel successful; emphasizing the importance of learning and fun rather than winning; and checking out free and low-cost activity areas such as hiking trails and pools. (National Association for Sport and Physical Education contact is Paula Kun, director of public relations.)
 

When two  generations of adults live together. Whether a grown child comes back to live, or an older parent moves in, families must make adjustments that suit everyone. The San Jose Mercury News offers suggestions on how to make life more livable when two generations of adults share a home.

Scheduling regular meetings is important to discuss common issues such as house rules and privacy. The first meeting is particularly crucial, according to Paul N. Barkopoulos, a Los Angeles psychiatrist. It should establish that there aren't parent and child roles in the new arrangement - that everyone will be treated as an adult.

Exploring finances, tax consequences and insurance issues is also essential, along with creating personal spaces and a schedule that will work for everyone. And families should set up a trial period to see if the situation is working.

Psychotherapist Lillian Carson adds that when grandparents move in, it's important for them to maintain separate interests and not to undermine parents with regard to child rearing. She says that, when handled carefully, this can be a wonderful opportunity for a grandparent to impart values and experience to a grandchild and to be another caring adult in that child's life.

(Another source on adult generations living together is Cathleen Kiritz of Redondo Beach, CA, who teaches an adult education class called When Mom or Dad Moves In.)
 

Reworking holiday rituals. Author Stephanie Coontz writes that nuclear family togetherness during the holidays began in the 19th century when more men began to work outside the home.

Holiday rituals took on importance because they alleviated concerns that men would become strangers to the family and that their domestic authority would be diminished.

These rituals still represent a stable family life today, but now that women are working outside the home, they don't have the time they once had to devote to preparing for the holidays.

So in today's co-provider and single-parent families, the holidays often cause rather than relieve stress. Men and women need to create or rework rituals that are more in keeping with today's family needs.

These new rituals may include getting together with a small group of friends rather than hosting a large family gathering; bringing in a cooked turkey and using frozen side dishes; making one donation to charity rather than sending out separate gifts to friends and relatives; sending out a computer-generated newsletter instead of individual Christmas cards; even celebrating holidays after the actual day to reduce stress and allow more extended family members to attend.

(Another source on new family rituals is Judsen Culbreth, editor in chief of Working Mother magazine.)
 

Connecting grandparents and grandchildren. With people living longer and staying healthier, there is more chance for children to have significant interaction with their grandparents. Studies have revealed many benefits of this relationship.

Grandparents report pleasure in helping and encouraging their grandchildren and taking part in their activities. They also stress the love and support they receive, and they see grandchildren as symbols of continuity and purpose.

Grandchildren enjoy sharing activities with their grandparents, receiving emotional support and being made to feel special. Interacting with grandparents can help build values, including respect for family. Grandparents can offer a sense of security, connecting the past, present and future.

But sometimes the generation gap between grandparents and their grandchildren gets in the way of a positive relationship. Lillian Carson, author of "The Essential Grandparent: A Guide to Making a Difference," offers tips on how to bridge that gap.

Start by keeping communication open, Carson advises grandparents. She suggests asking specific questions (rather than just "How was your day?") and learning to listen to the answers.  Grandchildren often will confide in grandparents and talk in ways they won't with their parents, especially when the children are going through the adolescent separation process.

Carson suggests passing along values and thoughts about life to grandchildren. This informs them that they belong to a family with a history and roots, and helps them develop perspective. Her book also offers ideas on long-distance grandparenting.

The Boston Globe shares some other simple tips for better communication.
In terms of discipline, grandparents should feel free to express themselves but should phrase criticism thoughtfully, and not dwell on a grandchild's negative behavior. And grandparents should also moderate the intensity of their demands for affection; if they join a grandchild in a fun activity, hugs or kisses may well follow naturally.

(Another source on grandparents is Glen H. Elder, Howard W. Odum Distinguished Professor of Sociology and research professor of psychology at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill.)
 

Planning a vacation. Family vacations don't necessarily mean leaving everyday comforts at home. Parents and children, for example, don't have to crowd into a hotel room together. Sesame Street Parents suggests several more spacious alternatives such as renting a condo; swapping homes with another family; finding a resort that rents time-shares to the public; or checking into a suite hotel, which often includes a kitchen and separate living and sleeping areas.

Ericka Lutz, author of "Baby Maneuvers," says parents tend to overpack. She reminds them that toothbrushes are available everywhere, and that the important things to bring are items like toys that make children feel comfortable.

Baby's Away, a Colorado-based company, helps traveling families feel at home in 31 resorts and metropolitan areas. It rents out many items including cribs, strollers, toys, potty seats, VCRs and videos.

For sightseeing vacations, parents can increase the comfort level by not overplanning, according to Alison Baker of Traveling Families, a travel agency specializing in family bookings. Baker suggests planning an itinerary and then cutting it in half so there's plenty of down time to do what interests the children. She also recommends using books and the Internet to introduce children to the travel destination; involving children in the planning is fun and lets them know what to expect. Finally, on sightseeing trips, life is more comfortable when parents minimize location changes and instead figure out interesting day trips.

Intergenerational travel is one good way to ensure everybody in the family has fun and peace of mind, says Claire Tristram, travel writer and author of "Have Kid, Will Travel: 101 Survival Strategies for Vacationing With Babies and Young Children." Parents can enjoy some time for themselves, while grandchildren and grandparents have a good time together.
 

Here's a quick look at some additional stories on family themes.
 

Commuter marriages. More two-career couples are undertaking long-distance marriages because their jobs take them to different cities. The Boston Globe reports that these arrangements are becoming more common as more women have careers they don't want to abandon.

The up side of commuter marriages is that the couples often enjoy satisfying work and leisure time. The down side, of course, is the strain of being apart. Financially, most couples rack up bills by maintaining two households, and emotionally, it can be difficult to vacillate between being alone and then being intensely together.
 

Couples doing double duty. The Wall Street Journal reports that many couples balance work and family by having one spouse work an early shift and the other spouse a later one. That way, children don't have to go to day care, and each partner gets quality time with the kids. But the drawback is a big one: The parents sacrifice quality time with each other.
 

Churches and families. Churches often serve as support groups for families, offering parenting classes, referrals, health information and more.

Many churches provide child care for working parents, and some offer support for parents who stay at home with their children. Recognizing that at-home parents sometimes need a break and that children benefit from pre-school experience, these churches have programs called Moms Morning Out.
 

Role reversal. As Generation Xers turn 30, many of them are just settling down with mortgages and steady jobs - but their parents are finally beginning to live it up, according to the Boston Globe.

Thirty years ago, parents of the Xers married younger and had more children. Now that their kids have moved out of the house, these parents still have energy - and often have time and disposable income to enjoy themselves. Also, the high divorce rates of the '70s and '80s means many of them are single and out on the dating scene.
 

The messy room battle. A lot of adolescent behaviors irk parents - things like like mouthiness and troublesome friends - but author Margaret Sagarese reports that the biggest battleground is the messy room.

Sagarese says a messy room is like a kaleidoscope that shows the many directions a child is going. She recommends that parents view the room the way an anthropologist would - that way, they can take a fresh look at their child's development. She says to be specific about the important things like sanitation, but to not worry about the rest of the mess.
 

Day care snapshots. The Miami Herald reports that some day care centers around the country are offering parents the chance to see exactly what their children do each day. These centers are installing video cameras that take snapshots of the day care activities and send them to secure Web sites for parental viewing.

Parents report that they enjoy checking in on their children, and day care workers find that the service increases their communication with parents.
Two systems and their providers are I See You by Simplex Knowledge Co. and Kindercam by ParentNet. Systems cost day care centers from $6,000 to $14,000, and parents pay an average of $5 a week to participate.
 

Support for new parents. New parents need a concrete system of support before they get home from the hospital. Friends and relatives used to help with cooking, cleaning and advice but new mothers today have little support and sources for practical information on newborns.

Some sources of support for today's parents: pediatricians, mothers' groups, visiting nurses. And in Southern California, a group called Tender Care offers doulas, helpers who work with families. These are not nannies for the infants; instead they allow mothers more time and ease to be with their infants. They instruct mothers in breast-feeding, run errands, cook and clean.
 

Home Work. Working from home is a growing trend, fueled largely by mothers who choose to merge family and work life. Ray Boggs of IDC/LINK, a New York market research company, provides information on the trend.

The Wichita Eagle offers some suggestions to make working at home successful. Parents must come up with a business idea that's manageable without a lot of off-site work; must establish boundaries between work and family issues; and often must hire help to make the balance workable.

The Wall Street Journal reports that more parents of teens are deciding to work at home so they can lessen the time their children are unsupervised.
 

Sources

"All in the Family," a free brochure for parents and relative care givers, is available from local resource and referral agencies; to find a local source, call Child Care Aware, (800) 424-2246 (Child Care)

Baby's Away, Breckenridge, CO, (800) 571-0077 (Planning a Vacation)

Alison Baker, Traveling Families, a travel agency specializing in family bookings, Arlington, VA, (800) 225-1300 (Planning a Vacation)

Paul N. Barkopoulos, psychiatrist, Los Angeles, CA, (310) 659-1990 (Adult Generations Living Together)

Rosalind C. Barnett, senior scientist in the Women's Program at Brandeis University, senior scholar in residence at the Murray Research Center of Radcliffe College, and co-author of "She Works, He Works" (HarperCollins, 1996), Boston, MA, (781) 736-2287 (Work and Family)

Monica Blaizgis, senior associate in the public relations department, Catalyst, New York, NY, (212) 514-7600, ext. 333 (Work and Family)

Marian Edelman Borden, author of "Smart Start: The Parents' Complete Guide to Preschool Education" (Facts on File, 1997) and "Mom's Guide to Raising a Good Student" (Alpha Books, 1997), New York, (914) 834-8607 (Education)

Kathleen Camara, chair of the Education Department and associate professor of child development at Tufts University, Medford, MA, (617) 627-3244 or (617) 627-2392 (Marriage and Divorce; Education)

Lillian Carson, psychotherapist and author of "The Essential Grandparent: A Guide to Making a Difference" (Health Communications, 1996), Santa Barbara, CA, (805) 969-4229 (Grandparents; Adult Generations Living Together)

Child Care Aware, Rochester, MN, (800) 424-2246 (Child Care)

Lynette Ciervo or Tom Salyers, ZERO TO THREE, Washington, D.C., (202) 638-1144, www.zerotothree.org (Child Care)

Stephanie Coontz, professor of family history at Evergreen State College and author of "The Way We Never Were" and "The Way We Really Are"; Olympia, WA, (360) 866-6000, ext. 6703 or (360) 352-8117 (New Holiday Rituals; Marriage and Divorce; Work and Family)

Judsen Culbreth, editor in chief of Working Mother magazine, New York, NY, (212) 445-6141 (New Holiday Rituals; Work and Family)

Glen H. Elder, Howard W. Odum Distinguished Professor of Sociology and research professor of psychology, University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill, (919) 966-6660 (Grandparents)

Robert Emery, professor of psychology and director of the Center for Children, Families and the Law, University of Virginia, (804) 924-0671 (Marriage, Divorce and Stepfamilies)

Margorie Engel, president of the Stepfamily Association of America, Boston, MA, (617) 720-1793 (Stepfamilies)

Denise Fogarty, program director at Child Care Aware, Rochester, MN, (800) 424-2246 (Child Care)

"Finding the Best Care for Your Infant or Toddler," a joint publication of NAEYC and ZERO TO THREE, is available for $.50 from NAEYC, (800) 424-2460, ext. 640 (Child Care)

"Finding Good Child Care," a free checklist for parents, is available from the Child Care Action Campaign, 330 Seventh Avenue, 17th floor, New York, NY 10001 (send SASE) (Child Care)

Ruth Anne Foote, special projects director, National Association of Child Care Resource and Referral Agencies, Atlanta, GA, (404) 874-0878 (Child Care)

Charlene C. Giannetti, co-author with Margaret Sagarese of "The Roller-Coaster Years" (Broadway Books, 1997), and author of "The Part-Time Solution: The New Strategy for Managing Your Career While Managing Motherhood" (Harper and Row, 1990; available through Amazon. com under author's maiden name, Charlene Canape), New York, NY, (212) 369-6196 (Work and Family; The Adolescent Years; Discipline)

Robin Hardman, director of communications, Families and Work Institute, New York, NY, (212) 465-2044, ext. 220 (Child Care; Work and Family)

Thelma Harms, director of curriculum development at the Frank Porter Graham Child Development Center and research professor in the School of Education at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill, (919) 962-7358
(Child Care; Discipline)

Arlene Johnson, senior consultant at WFD, a consulting and service firm on issues of work and life, Boston and New York, (973) 994-9020 (Work and Family)

Lillian Katz, director of ERIC Clearinghouse on Elementary and Early Childhood Education and professor of Early Childhood Education at the  University of Illinois, Champaign, IL, (217) 333-1386 or (800) 583-4135 (Education)

Kate Kelly, author of "The Complete Idiot's Guide to Parenting a Teenager" (Alpha Books, 1996), Larchmont, NY, (914) 834-0602 (Education)

Cathleen Kiritz, teacher of an adult education class called "When Mom or Dad Moves In," Redondo Beach, CA, (310) 316-8773 (When Generations Live Together)

Donna Klein, director of work/life programs at Marriott International, Washington, D.C., (301) 380-9000, ext. 6856 (Child Care; Work and Family)

Paula Kun, director of public relations at the National Association for Sport and Physical Education, Reston, VA, (703) 476-3410 (Recreation)

James A. Levine, director of The Fatherhood Project at Families and Work Institute, co-author with Todd L. Pittinsky of "Working Fathers - New Strategies for Balancing Work and Family" (Addison-Wesley, 1997) and co-author with Edward W. Pitt  of "New Expectations - Community Strategies for Responsible Fatherhood" (Families and Work Institute, 1995), New York, NY, (212) 465-2044, ext. 301 or preferably send e-mail to levineja@aol.com (Work and Family)

The "Learn and Live" educational kit is available for $20 from the George Lucas Educational Foundation, (888) 475-4371 (Education)

Ellen Lubell, communications director, Child Care Action Campaign, New York, NY, (212) 239-0138, ext. 208 (Child Care)

Ira Lurvey, lawyer and past chairman of the American Bar Association's family law section, Los Angeles, CA, (310) 203-0711 (Marriage and Divorce)

Ericka Lutz, author of "Baby Maneuvers" (McMillan, 1997) and "The Complete Idiot's Guide to Stepparenting" (Alpha Books, 1998), and co-author with Vicki Poretta of "Mom's Guide to Disciplining Your Child" (Alpha Books, 1997), Oakland, CA, (510) 655-7615 (Planning a Vacation; Stepfamilies; Discipline)

Robert McCall, director of the University of Pittsburgh Office of Child Development, psychology professor and former columnist for Parents magazine, (412) 624-5527 (The Adolescent Years; Discipline)

Jane McDonough, president of CANEC, a California charter school network, and director of the Sonoma Charter School, Sonoma, CA, (707) 935-4232 (Education)

National Association for the Education of Young Children, Washington, D.C., (800) 424-2460, ext. 620, www.naeyc.org (Child Care; Education)

National Association for Family Child Care, Des Moines, IA, (800) 359-3817 (Child Care)

National Parenting Education Network is a developing initiative to advance parenting education and support professionals in the field. Contact: Anne Robertson, chair, Champaign, IL, (800) 583-4135, http://npen.crc.uiuc.edu

National Parent Information Network has a large database of resources on parenting topics. It is a project of the ERIC Clearinghouse System, the largest educational database in the world, which is a federally funded project supported by the U.S. Department of Education. Contact: Anne Robertson, coordinator of services for the network, Champaign, IL, (800) 583-4135, http://npin.org

"99 Tips for Family Fitness Fun," is a free brochure available from the National Association for Sport and Physical Education, (703) 476-3410 (Recreation)

Barney Olmsted, co-director of New Ways to Work, a nonprofit that promotes flexible work arrangements, San Francisco, CA, (415) 995-9860, www.nww.org (Work and Family)

Theodora Ooms, executive director the National Resource Center on Marriage and Family Policy - Family Impact Seminar, Washington, D.C., (202) 496-1964, ext. 12 (Marriage and Divorce)

"A Parent's Guide - Tuning In to Adolescents" is a free brochure available from the National Middle School Association, (800) 528-6672 (The Adolescent Years)

Stephanie Peck, publications coordinator of the National Institute on Out-of-School Time at the Center for Research on Women, Wellesley College, Wellesley, MA, (781) 283-2547, www.wellesley.edu/WCW/CRW/SAC (The Adolescent Years)

Meg Porter, administrator/educator of Bellevue-Santa Fe Charter School, San Luis Obispo, CA, (805) 595-7169 (Education)

Eric Premack, director of the Charter School Development Center at the Institute for Education Reform, California State University at Sacramento, (916) 278-4600 (Education)

Michael Riera, author of "Uncommon Sense for Parents of Teenagers" (Celestial Arts, 1995) and "Surviving High School" (Celestial Arts, 1997), Berkeley, CA, (510) 524-2143 (The Adolescent Years; Discipline)

Margaret Sagarese, co-author with Charlene Giannetti of "The Roller-Coaster Years" (Broadway Books, 1997), Long Island, NY, (516) 277-3659 (The Adolescent Years, Discipline, The Messy Room Battle)

Mark Sargent, director of communications for the George Lucas Educational Foundation, San Rafael, CA, (415) 662-1600 (Education)

Linda Sisson, executive director, National School-Age Care Alliance, Boston, MA, (617) 298-5012 (The Adolescent Years)

Diane Sollee, educator and founder of Coalition for Marriage, Family and Couples Education, Washington, D.C., (202) 362-3332, www.smartmarriages.com (Marriage, Divorce and Stepfamilies)

Victoria Stanhope, director of professional information and communication, National Association of School Psychologists, Bethesda, MD, (301) 657-0270 (The Adolescent Years)

Stepfamily Association of America, Lincoln, NE, (800) 735-0329, www.stepfam.org (Stepfamilies)

Sue Swaim, executive director, National Middle School Association, Columbus, OH, (800) 528-6672, www.nmsa.org (The Adolescent Years)

Claire Tristram, author of "Have Kid, Will Travel: 101 Survival Strategies for Vacationing With Babies and Young Children" (Andrews McMeel, 1997), San Francisco Bay Area, (408) 286-6773 (Planning a Vacation)

Linda Wheeler, director of FAST (Families and Schools Together), Family Service America, Milwaukee, WI, (414) 359-1040 (Education)

Joan Zuckerberg, psychotherapist and co-author with Meg Schneider of "Difficult Questions Kids Ask (and Are Too Afraid to Ask) About Divorce" (Simon & Schuster, 1996), Brooklyn, NY, (718) 636-8278 (Marriage and Divorce)