Kelly Jo looked around her room, sullen. She could not seem to find the sheafs of paper which contained the Story Thus Far. Arlena was not surprised, however -- she commented, "Jimmy Hoffa has a better chance of being alive than anything being found in *that* mess!" Kelly sighed. It was true.
And so, she lifted her pen, and began to write.
" Once upon a time, in a land far far away, there lived a tribe of happy and content people. They inhabited the land of snow and ice, and consequently valued heat and warmth very much. For many years they made do with matches stolen from hotel chains and Harris Teeter kitchen matches, throwing in dried pine needles -- which they laboriously hung from the inside of their igloos and shielded from the wind and wet -- as fuel. It was in this manner that they cooked their food and boiled their water and smoked their tobacco and herb.
" The leader of the tribe, He Who Drinks Icehouse, discovered a talent in one of the children, an amazing talent the likes of which had never before been seen! This child, She Who Licks Salt, could perform the movements of a thousand mules with just a single thought from her mind! The leader of the tribe pondered for hours the potential of this gift from the Good Ones above. He wondered aloud, "How can this be used to benefit the entire tribe?" And finally, seraphim and cherubim descended from the Northern Lights and whispered in his ear, 'The kitchen -- use the kitchen -- use the kiiiiitttcccchhhhennnnnn.... and they will come .... "
" He Who Drinks Icehouse was stunned. Why had he not thought of it before? There had been a wandering scribe who travelled far from her village and spun tales glorious and long about the tribe of St Anthony Hall, in dusky Chapel Hill, North Carolina, just north of the Edge of the World. She had told magnificant stories of Pledge Formals, and house cleans, and bar scenes, and described how the happy St As would gather in the upstairs food-making-place (referred to in their strange language as a 'kitchen'). This kitchen had pipes of heat which radiated strong energy and served food up hot and steamy, something the tribe of the winterlands would be most happy to possess. Surely, now all She Who Licks Salt would have to do would be to mentally think of a way to transport the kitchen (what a strange word!) to their lands.
" It would be done.
Kelly Jo heard a knock on her door, lifting her from her writing-induced trance. It was Steve, clunking about on rollerblades. "Hey, Kelly," he said, "just wanted to see what was up."
"Well," she replied, "I'm trying to write the Continuing Story without the Continuing Story. You see, it's lost in the morass of my bed." She pointed to the corner. "I think I saw a light in the corner, but I am not sure."
Steve lifted the pillows off of the foot of her bed. There was indeed a light, seemingly coming from underneath. A gust of cold wind knocked Jula -- who had trailed loyally behind Steve -- off the bed. Something strange was about, that was certain.
Danielle emerged from the Annex and tapped on the window. "Hey! hey you in there!" she said loudly. "What's all this going on in the parking lot?" Steve, Kelly Jo and Arlena (who had been working quietly on her Honors Thesis) peered out of the window to see.
Sure enough, the cold air from the corner of Kelly's bed was the beginning stages of entropy that was coming to engulf the room, its inhabitants, the Hall and Chapel Hill in its entirety! soon it would consume the Triangle, next North Carolina, and so forth until the entire Earth itself would be no longer! The parking lot was the first to go, and little sections of gravel could be seen disappearing for no discernible reason!
RJ rushed across the hall from his room. "What's this about the parking lot?" he asked calmly. Arlena explained the situation to him, and he nodded solemnly. "Looks like there's only one thing to do," he smiled. "Sacrifice the piano to keep it happy."
By this time the entropy had spread to reach the bottom of the stairs which descended from the porch. Schwa, Donald and Josh volunteered their services to push the piano off the top level of the main house, and feed it directly into the entropy. Dana and Kelly stood at the ready with cloves for the hard workers, and Ann took pictures. "Hurry, guys, it's getting bigger!" cried Charisse. Everyone looked around nervously. The entropy showed no signs of giving up, even after an entire piano, bench, SPE dumpster and old freezer had been fed into it. No one knew what to do! In a panic, Doc pulled out a bowling ball and began to pass it around. "If we're going to die," he affirmed, "we'll at least die happy."
BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!
BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!
BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!
Bzzzzbzbzbzbzbzbzbbbzbb. Bb. b.
The alarm rang deafeningly and with grace and ease Kelly Jo shut it off. Looking lazily at the clock, she noted it was 3 PM. She smiled and shut her eyes, and went back to her dream. She felt her toes snuggle into the warmth of her covers and went back to sleep, ignoring the unusual cold vent from the bottom of her bed ...