As a very special one time only offer, greenbuilding list participants are
invited to accept membership in the exclusive society of G3, dedicated to
the interconnectedness of all living things in ways that enhance the
special status and superior awareness of G3 associates. Enter the select
company of founders Fritz von Schadenfreud, PhD, World Director of the
Benthos Society, who will personally welcome you via sonar uplink from the
deep sea submersible vessel Titanic Collectibles, and Maria Granuloma de S.
Onomatapoeia, publisher of the Group of Seven "Fueling Capitalism into the
25th Century" newsletter.
Special unique benefits for members only:
"Planetary Explorer" 96-channel digital gold-filled wristwatch for
instantaneous updates of major environmental indicators, including
minute-by-minute size of the ozone hole and exact number of aluminum cans
in landfills. When the next iceberg calves from Antarctica, receive your
instantaneous 3-dimensional multimedia readout via Planetary Explorer!
Whether at board meetings or dinner parties, you will have the latest
critical information. (Note: gold is 100% salvaged and recycled from
ancient Meso-American tombs and is guaranteed not to be tested on animals.)
Individualized messages and photographs from your own personal endangered
species. Heartwarming letters of thanks from animals like the Desert
Tortoise--some so recently extinct, yours may be their final communication.
Select organically-grown cigar sampler of high-altitude mountain hand-cut
sun-dried tobaccos, raised and wrapped on peasant cooperatives supported by
the International Greens for Progress Network, whose members promote
integrated pest management using Maya glyphs via the Internet.
Access to the G3 world wide web video site, where 24-hour cameras bring you
live coverage of the latest Congressional, Presidential and Federal Agency
actions to save the environment. You won't want to miss any of the
high-level deliberations--or drama like the recent dispatch of multilateral
tactical carrier fleet to destroy ocean drift nets in "Operation Monkey
Wrench".
Forest green and neon pink recycled fleece "Chernobyl" model anorak with G3
logo and built-in digital cellular action link for rapid on-line access to
world leaders, who await your reports of excess waste for inclusion in the
global treaty on resource efficency under consideration at the Parliament
of Nations.
Distinctive green and gold enamel G3 medallion to fit your Land Rover,
Toyota Land Cruiser, Jeep Grand Cherokee or any SUV over $40k. G3 medallion
includes exclusive year-round admission to endangered sites such as the
last remaining pristine moss forest.
Crystal pyramid compost and juice maker, with compound settings to produce
rich garden soil amendment or high vitamin vegetable juices at your
individualized preference. Automatically detects heavy metal and pesticide
residues exceeding international standards.
Feng Shui Spreadsheet by Applied Planetary Energy Systems. A few keystrokes
ensures that your personal living environment is precisely aligned to deep
magma electromagnetic fields and dendritic ring cycles. So sensitive, even
miniscule harmonic silences of vanishing species are recorded with stunning
clarity in full color pie charts suitable for display.
"Personal Litmus"--your high-bandwidth fiber-optic whole-body scanner. A
quick glance at the video headset tells you your personal lead, asbestos,
dioxin, DDT levels. Unisex models.
Please indicate your acceptance of this exclusive opportunity by return
e-mail. This offer will not be repeated!
G3--GAIA GUYS & GALS
Proud to Show Concern
O'Brien & Associates
Environmental Building Consultants
Portland General Electric Earth Smart program
Earth-Wise Builders
obrien@hevanet.com
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This greenbuilding dialogue is sponsored by Oikos (www.oikos.com)
and Environmental Building News (www.ebuild.com). For instructions
send e-mail to greenbuilding-request@crest.org.
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